I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
