Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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