your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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