Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
