Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
