I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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