Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
