You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
