So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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