His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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