You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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