Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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