i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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