So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We left the knife in your bed.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
