1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Even my vagina gasped.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
