i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
