If i come over, it means nothing
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It was confusing and full of hummus
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
