She announced her abortion via fbk
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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