he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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