I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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