Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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