This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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