First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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