Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
