Got a toothbrush?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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