I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
