he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
