I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
