are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
