we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
