i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
