she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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