Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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