I puked a lego.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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