We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
