Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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