my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
