Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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