either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
