I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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