So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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