Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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