Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
