Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
