just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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