I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
