she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
