were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You did what with his pubic hair?
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