and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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