Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
